I have suffered with an eating disorder for 25 years. This is my path through recovery.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Redefining(This note was penned by Mandy Moore (no, not THE Mandy Moore). The only edits are for punctuation and capitalization. :)
The closer you get to recovery the scarier it may be to leave your disorder behind. Remember you have a full self and you DO know how to be satisfied and happy - without the guilt of your old behaviors. Emptiness is just an illusion - you are inherently full of ideas, thoughts, emotions, love and wishes. You were meant to love yourself and accept love from others. Look at old pictures of when you were young - you will see it! Trust others that want to give you love - you do not have the right to judge negatively what others meant to give you as positive!
Recovery is not an "if," but a "when": you are by nature introspective, self-aware, intelligent. You are not destined to feel shame, disgust, or fear. It's time to start moving away from old definitions of yourself and writing your own. By replacing your old thoughts and behaviors about yourself with positive ones, you are taking control of your life. You are saying that no label will define you - you are believing in your right to be free of judgment and pain. That is the right you were given by God - in Christianity it is not your place to disown that. You believe in recovery, because recovery means you are taking control of your life, and not letting previous habits control you. And isn't control over your life what you are really seeking in the first place? Challenge yourself to own your recovery. it does not happen to you - you are working to claim the happiness that you deserve every day. I know you can do it! I believe in you!